Celebrating Valentines Day

One of the best things about not working or homeschooling anymore is that I can focus all of my creative energy on making my kids lives fun and memorable.

This was the first holiday in over a year that wasn't rush, or overwhelming. It was simple at home celebrating my sweet loves! Thanks to pinterest there are no longer trial and errors in my craftiness. I can see great ideas, and simply them or make them better. It's perfect for this busy mama of four!

Adoption, attachment and a lesson.

We recently got the chance to share our heart with others about our passion for adoption. We love sharing with others how are family grows and what an amazing gift it is to us and not just our kids.

For me I have learned so much more from my kids than I will ever be able to teach them. Our Pastor used us as an example of how we our "adopted" by Christ as well. God wants to love us and rescue us.
In all reality from an outsiders view this is what we did for our kids. After the service many people were very sweet to let us know how they admired us and they were proud of us for allowing God to use us in such a way. I always, always feel uncomfortable with this. After a few weeks of pondering why I absolutely hate for others to admire us I figured I would use my personal blog to say what I actually think.

Here is the deal.

Before we adopted I thought I understood the picture of what it meant that we are all adopted by God. I thought I understood what it meant that He wanted to have a relationship with me and be my Father, just like I wanted to be someones Mother. I thought I understood Gods love for me as he waited for me to come running to Him and fall in love with him.

Before I even met my adopted kids I was falling in love with them. I had seen a picture and began to imagine how wonderful it would be to hold them, kiss them and scoop them and make many promises of never leaving them and offering my unconditional love.

The first time I saw Josh he was sitting in a car seat at McDonald's. Everything was new. I was unsure of the rules. I finally asked the social worker if I was allowed to hold him. When I picked him up he didn't want me to hold him. He was squirming. He didn't care who I was or that I wanted to be his Mother.
The first time I saw Josie she refused to look at me. I remember seeing how timid she was and wanting to touch her and pull her to me, but I didn't want to scare her. I so longed for her to come running into my arms.

These were the times that God used in my life to say this is how I feel. I have so much future to offer. I am here, come run to me.

Even after months of loving on my kids there will still be days that I have to sit and pull them to me. Allow them to cry as I offer my lap as comfort.
God uses these times to remind me that my attachment to him is a continual process as well. I need to keep coming to him for my comfort.

As much as I would like to help others understand this amazing concept, I can't. It's a gift God offers to all of us, which is why I believe He calls us all to adopt. I don't believe it was just a lesson for me to learn. I know I am not being "Christian Politically Correct". I know I am supposed to tell people to pray about it and see what God wants them to do. But the truth is I feel sad for others to miss out on such an amazing process. For me adoption has been an "on the job" training for my faith in Christ.

I continue to learn and grow in Him, through them. They are an example to me of resilience. I want to cry and scream and throw a fit and still crawls up into my Fathers' lap just like they do mine.
So just know if anyone comes up to me and tells me how amazed they are with my family and how proud of me they are, know I am going to be praying that you get the pleasure of walking in my footsteps and learning the lessons I have along the way.



If you would like to hear a part if our story you can listen to the sermon here.

Christmas Morning.

The Annual Picture in front of the fire place. Still can't believe their were six stockings hanging this year!








She loves Princess Tiana. It was her theme for the year, I think everything she got was based on Tiana..













The chaos in action. We decided this year to have each of the kids practice giving gifts before they worried about themselves. It was pretty hard for some to be wait their turn but it was also fun to see their excitement in watching their sibling get something they had picked out for them.





The little got bikes just their size.
















Abbie got her ipod she has asked for since she was 3. I still don't think she is old enough for it, but I am trying to stay current with the times.














Nathan loved his bike, although he is still pushing it around instead of riding it.
















This picture is blurry but I had to show it. Josh had asked for months for weights. It seemed like a silly gift but he was so excited!












The Aftermath of Christmas morning. It was our longest Christmas morning yet, I think it took us an hour and a half to finally be done. It was really fun and sweet time for our BIG family this year!

New Post-Catching up.

Some how I have forgotten to document almost 3 months!

Here are the highlights in bullet points. I won't bore you with the daily routine of therapy, travel time, breathing treatments etc.

December

• Christmas was crazy but fun.
• We went camping!
• Spent Christmas vacation cleaning and playing and being sick.
• Lost one of Nathan's hearing aids
  

January

• We went camping again.
• Got sick
  
• Nathan Started school
• Josie started school
• I now live out of my car
• Dedicated the little kids
• Celebrated a month with no social worker visits
• Planted tomatoes
• Potty trained Nathan
• Finally got loaner hearing aids trying to save a few thousand dollars.
  

February

• Finally Getting used to the crazy school schedule
• Went camping again
• Became youth sponsors at church

How our day begins before the sun comes up.

Camping- It's a lot of work but its a different crazy than daily life.

The kids love it and so do we.

The amount of sand that is in one child's shoe at the end of the day. I have considered saving it all to use in a sand box for summer.

This how I feel at the end of the day. We are busy, tired and making lots of memories!

Three years with Josh!

Josh has been home for 3 years now. He has grown into the funniest kid. He is all about super heroes. His current favorite toy is his remote control cars.

He loves his new little brother and in his prayers each night tells Jesus thank you for letting Nathan spend the night again.

He is a sweet heart.

Recently I received this poem:

A birth mother's tears as she ponders your fate.
Your new mother's tears when she sees your face.

Tears of a child crying alone,as it waits for new parents,
A new family, a new home.

That tentative smile, that sly little grin.
A glimmer of hope emerging within.

You were waiting for us, we were looking for you.
We both needed a family, our search is now through.
-author unknown


Life was forever changed with this guy, if you would like to read more of his story check the archives here.

Nathan's Adoption

He has only been home with us for 10 weeks. But our amazing attorney surprised us and got us on the docket early. On Nathan's 3'rd Birthday after spending 1058 days as a foster kid he now is ours forever. I never would have guessed that I would have been as relaxed as I was. The past 2 adoptions I remember just looking around wondering if someone was going to change their minds. It may be the 4 kids that have worn me down and I no longer have the brain capacity to worry about such things anymore. But this time was different. It felt complete. Little stress and like we were crossing the finish line of a marathon. In all of 15 minutes it was over,but our future was totally changed!

As I am trying to tell the Judge how much we care for Nathan, my husband is having to correct the kids from running circle around me.

We then have to switch kids due to some fussing....neither of us remember what we said.

Us with our very sweet Judge.

Us with our attorney- Great Woman!

I have also notice from the pictures that I have also lost my brain capacity to schedule a hair appointment and I should really be running a few more miles!

After we finished at the court house we headed to the park across the street.

We had a great day. Left the park with 3 kids crying, one kid with peed pants and another mad because she had sat in the pee puddle. That is our life these days. Tear, laughter, pee and a forever family!

My Babies turn 3!

I was beginning to wonder if I would ever get back to blogging. Life is really busy. All with wonderful things, but by the time the kids are in bed and the house is quiet each evening I am done. All creativity and energy is spent on making their/our/my life fun.

In have spent the last few weeks planning the party for my little people. Because it was Nathan's first birthday with us we wanted to go all out. He and Josie's Birthday's are five days apart. Both kiddos are loving Micky these days so it was an easy choice for a themed Mickey and Minnie party!

We've never rented a bounce house before but figured this was a good time to try it out. Nathan's adoption was finalized the day before so we got it to celebrate as a family and it was left over for the party. It was perfect all the kids stayed in it for hours! I am now considering buying one, I just need to come up with a few thousand dollars!

It's a little crazy trying to open presents with 2 kiddos, I never know what came from who.

The day was fun and crazy. We were all exhausted by the end of it, but wonderful memories were made. Gosh, I love being their Mom!